Who's Killing the Toons?
Cast *Gonzo - Flik (A Bug's Life) *Fozzie Bear - Baloo (The Jungle Book) *Kermit the Frog - Danny (Cats Don't Dance) *Miss Piggy - Sawyer (Cats Don't Dance) *Scooter - Puffin (The Swan Princess) *Hooded Killer - Shenzi (The Lion King) *Dr. Bunsen Honeydew - Surly (The Nut Job) *Beaker - Buddy (The Nut Job) *Rowlf the Dog - Mr. Peabody (Mr. Peabody & Sherman (2014) *Dr. Teeth - Kin Kuijira (Grojband) *Lew Zealand - Roger Rabbit *Swedish Chef - Heimlich (A Bug's Life) *Animal - Stitch (Lilo & Stitch) *Steve Martin - Genie (Aladdin) *Camilla the Chicken - Flip (Pet Alien) *Statler - Lumiere (Beauty and the Beast) (2017) *Waldorf - Cogsworth (Beauty and the Beast) (2017) *Penguins - Minions (Despicable Me) *Skeeter - Marina (The Pebble and the Penguin) *Stranger - Honey Mustard (Sausage Party) Transcript *'Flik:' For my next feat, I will walk across hot coals while explaining what the hell I am. *'Shenzi:' No! For your next feat, you die! (Shenzi fires a cannon, decapitating Flik, and Flik's corpse falls on the hot coals. Then Shenzi places a water sack on the scene) Flik's Funeral and Burial Ceremony *'Danny:' Flik died as he lived, and our family will never be whole again. And now, ladies and gentlemen, THE GENIE OF THE LAMP, YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY!! *'Genie:' "The Lord is my Shepard, I shall not want. He makes me like.." *'Sawyer ''(interrupting):' Oh, are we burying him in a sybian? (Flip jumps on Flik's casket as it gets lowered into the ground) *'Baloo:' You know, the last time a toon died was... *'Genie (interrupting):' Excuse me? *'Baloo:' Don’t you mean, "Excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me"? *'Genie:' No, this is a funeral. I’m working. Do I come to where you work and knock things out of your mouth?! *'Danny:' Wow, Genie's working blue, but he’s right. We vowed never to talk about...that night. (The gang turn to look at Puffin) (Puffin waves at them) Later *'Baloo:' And then the dad says, "The Aristocrats"! Wocka-wocka! *'Shenzi:' (Right up at the door) Hey, Baloo? Why did the bear turn red? *'Baloo:' I don’t know, stranger. *'Shenzi:' Because he was em-BEAR-rassed! *'Baloo: (Sarcastically claps) Wocka-wocka... *'''Shenzi: Then how about this? Because I totally STABBED YOU! (Shenzi stabs Baloo in the neck and then the back with a knife) *'Baloo:' What a showstopper. Ooohh! (Falls on stage) *'Lumiere:' See? I told you the bear was gonna die on stage tonight. (Lumiere and Cogsworth laugh) *'Baloo:' Hey, guys, can you stop laughing and call me an ambulance? *'Cogsworth:' You're an ambulance. (Lumiere and Cogsworth laugh again, and Baloo is dragged offscreen by Shenzi and murdered. Then a red wagon is rolled out on stage) *'Danny:' (Minions roll Baloo's dead body away) First Flik, now Baloo. Could we be paying the price for what we did to...? *'Sawyer:' Don’t say that name, Danny. *'Tadashi:' OOOH, Sawyer's telling me what to do. Wow, hey, everybody! Come here! You gotta come see this. Sawyer's telling me what to do! Wow, must be a day that ends in R! (Puffin walks by carrying a boxful of props) Hey, uh, Puffin? *'Puffin:' Oh! Hey there, boss. *'Danny:' We need to talk about Marina's death. *'Puffin:' Why, sure. I love talking about my twin sister, if not for that tragic accident... *'Danny:' You know, I’m gonna stop you right there. I got something I gotta tell you. Toon Babies Flashback *'Baby Danny:' Let’s play The Little Mermaid! *'Baby Baloo:' Let’s question Danny's sensability. Wocka-wocka! *'Baby Puffin:' Hold on! Let me grab my floaties. (Leaves) *'Baby Marina:' What a nerd. *'Baby Sawyer:' Ahem. Moi will play "La Petite Mermaid". *'Baby Marina:' Mermaids aren't fat! (Pushes Baby Sawyer) *'Baby Danny:' Yikes! Marina, if you only take my advice once in your natural life, take it now. Walk away. (Marina smacks Danny) *'Baby Baloo:' NANNY! MARINA'S HITTING US AGAIN! *'Baby Danny:' Yeah, who's the homo now? (Marina beats up Baloo, and Marina gets hit in the back by Danny with a red wagon and knocked headfirst into the pool) If we do this thing, it’s our secret forever. (All Toon Babies agree and drown Marina in the pool) *'All Toon Babies:' NANNY! (Present) *'Puffin:' You killed my sister?!? *'Danny:' Yeah, well, It was 60% self-defense. But we're kind of burying the lead here. We think Marina's come back from the grave for revenge! *'Puffin:' Oh, Marina will have her ''revenge… (Puffin reveals himself to be Marina, the Killer, in disguise) *'Danny and Sawyer: AAAAHHH!!! *'''Marina: (Takes out knife, and attacks Danny) Fifteen seconds till your death! *'Sawyer:' HIIII-YAH! (Jumps to kick her, but misses) Wuh! *'Marina:' Here it comes! Showtime! *'Flip:' (Holding a bow and arrow) Get away from her, you bitch! *'Marina:' You can’t shoot me! Aliens don’t even have fingers! (Flip fires an arrow, which runs through Marina's head) OOHH!! (Falls to the floor with Genie behind her) *'Genie ''(chuckling):''' That bit never gets old. (Dances as funny music starts) Category:Justin Quintanilla Category:Who's Killing the Muppets? Spoofs